16 & PREGNANT

Dr Karelie Hylton, PhD Counselling Psychologist

Dear Dr Hylton,

I am few. It would be noble of you to stand by your girlfriend AM a 17-year-old male and I was just told by my when she tells her parents. Hopefully, your parents will 16-year-old girlfriend that she is pregnant. I am very concerned. I am not ready to be a father. We are both sitting our CSEC examinations, and I have plans of going to sixth form to pursue business subjects. We used a condom, but it broke. I told my older brother and he bought the morning-after Pill, which I gave to my girlfriend. How is it, then, that she could be pregnant? I think I did all that I could to Protect us. She has not told her Parents as yet. I have not told anyone as yet. Should we wait until after our examinations? What should we do? Teen Father.

Dear Teen Father, Unplanned pregnancies are more common than you think. I recognize that you did all that was expected (using a condom and the morning-after pill); however, this just indicates that, despite your best efforts to prevent an unplanned pregnancy, abstinence is the only choice that gives a 100 per cent result/protection. The condom may have broken for several reasons—improper use, it may have expired, or it was damaged. The reasons for the morning-after pill not being effective may include the time it was taken as well as its expiration date.

You have every right to be concerned as this pregnancy will change the course of your lives. Whether that change is positive or negative depends on you and the decisions you make. Pregnancy is a natural process that will be quite noticeable in another few months- so hiding from your respective partners is a moot point. Might I suggest that you talk with your respective parents. You may need the assistance of your older brother when you approach your parents. You ought to expect an emotional response, as they will have feelings of disappointment, anger, worry, fear, just to name a few. It would be noble of you to stand by your girlfriend when she tells her parents. Hopefully, your parents will also be a part of this process. You are both going to need all the support at this time. Your girlfriend will also need prenatal care- so she will definitely need to be seen by a medical doctor for her health and that of your unborn child. I would encourage you both to do your very best in your r CSEC examinations, as life does continue after the baby comes. Let me hope that all relevant applications to college and plans for further studies for both of you can be facilitated, and that your support system will fall into place as quickly and as smoothly as your circumstances will allow.

Today's youth ought to recognise that having sex is not the only expression of affection. There are emotional issues in committing yourself to a sexual relationship and the best way to protect yourself, medically and emotionally, is through abstinence. There are so many other activities for young people to engage in outside of sexual intercourse.

Here is a list of suggested activities.

1. Go to the movies with your friends/family.

2. Have a picnic with your friends at a local park or in your backyard.

3. Have an oldies movie marathon. Rent as many old movies as you can find and watch them all weekend.

4. Make a collage that represents you or a topic you enjoy. Include magazine and newspaper clippings, photographs, ticket stubs, etc.

5. Play team games.

6. Paint a picture.

7. Go to a sporting event for your school.

8. Make a mix CD or tape.

9. Organise a bake saleor car wash in your neighbourhood and donate the proceeds to a school or community project.

10. Play card games, dominoes or do a puzzle.

11. Talk on the phone.

12. Ride your bike. Try to find new trails.

13. Write poetry or short stories.

14. Exercise. Try new exercise routines with your friends, such as yoga or Pilates.

15. Study subjects and do homework together.

It is my hope that you and your girlfriend will do well in your CSEC examinations and that the relationship between your respective families will be one in which decisions and choices are made that will bring everyone together and the necessary support provided.

Dr Karelie Hylton, PhD Counselling Psychologist karellehylton@yahoo.

AIR JORDAN

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