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5 ways to get over 'The one'

Latara Boodie, Youthlink Writer


So you spent a good amount of time, energy and resources thinking this was it, this is 'the one'. However, life does not always go according to plan. After several futile back-and-forth arguments, trying to save what you have with this person, you've finally reached your breaking point. The final straw that broke the camel's back. It may feel like a tragic loss worth grieving for, but it's not. Life is filled with many opportunities which will give you overall happiness again. Nevertheless, to help you with your post-break-up blues, here are some quick tips to beat the blues.

1 New routine: Nothing can get you out of the funk faster than switching things up a bit. Instead of doing the usual routine that might have included the other person, find an alternative. If you use to walk a particular direction to get to class, try a more scenic route. Buy something different from the canteen and eat at a new spot. Any diversion from your old routine is welcomed.

2 Keep your distance: You have been back and forth with this person for a while, so it is common to drift back into that cycle if contact is maintained. If this is the time you decide to make a stand for something, stick to your decision. Any interaction with the person may introduce doubts. Unless you see a change in the person's behaviour, then you will continue to endure the same circumstances.

3 Immerse yourself in friends: It is instinctive to want to be alone and completely shut the world out, along with all its unnecessary evils. Don't spend too long in this phase. You have responsibilities and obligations that require your attention. Instead, spend more time with your friends. It might not be able to replace what is missing, but it sure can fill the gap with love and laughter.

4 Keep busy: Engage yourself in activities that will get your mind off the break-up and dissuade you from overthinking. Take up a new hobby, embrace an old hobby or just immerse yourself in preparing for your final exams. Got to keep that GPA up, right? Whatever you do, keep occupied until the need to be occupied all the time is no longer there.

5 Reflect: This is where you take what you've experienced and learn from it. Spend some time going over the quality of the relationship you had with this person. Take the time, also, to evaluate your self-worth, self-esteem and confidence levels. "Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have." - Robert Holden.